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A Nail That Sticks Out Gets Hammered
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14 May 2008

Women are Culprits of Abuse

I Do doesn't Mean I will submit to any form of abuse....

I just read a fantastic post over at The Lesbians Said What?? they were speaking about Lesbian violence, but more specifically how it relates to Lesbian Rape. Yeah, what a shock huh? So often the violence within the lesbian community is unheard of - unspoken. It's a silent topic outside of our community. Yet, within our compounds {our family} we can say, that it is very much alive. It's just as rampant as domestic violence in the heterosexual life and world as is the violent raping of a woman by a man. In other words, Lesbians will not only rape but carry out other forms of abuse.

Why? First off they are human beings before they are anything else. There are bad elements in any given race or sexual orientation. Yet, when I read this post it made me recall the day I covered a Domestic Violence Exhibit hosted by my local YWCA.

The event was in keeping of tradition for Domestic Violence Month. One key component was to unveil domestic violence through the eyes of a child. Children who had experienced such were portraying it by means of very expressive art form. I was curious as to how it was going to be presented as art? Art represents beauty to me and there is nothing beautiful about abuse.

As soon as I entered the building I was in complete awe. Two floors of the facility had been appropriated for the cause. The walls were plastered with the children's stories, oil paintings, sketches and crayola drawings . There were easels set up to showcase the most painful stories, that needed to be told. And tables aligned in center row. One table which I never will forget is the long decorated conference table. Dead center of it was about 2 dozen red roses and portraits had been placed on the table along with name tags and dimly lit candles. Each candle represented a life that had been taken by the hands of their abuser. Photographs of infants, babies, toddlers, teens and women - lost lives. It was truly sorrowful.

It was a gift from the children that they were able to share this pain and how they fought to heal. Yet, one thing did bother me. On the many tables were pamphlets, even on the walls there were postings of "What is Abuse, How To Recognize a Potential Abuser, How To Escape Abuse and Who To call." It was all geared towards men like they are the only abusers. And we know that is not true.

I knew the YWCA had no business Hosting this event out of prejudice and bias when I read these 4 Words - "WOMEN ARE ABUSERS, TOO." And, that was it - no further discussion - no further talk - no pamphlets - no fliers - just those 4 words.

This was a terrible miscarriage of justice for young girls (remember this is the YWCA) and for all young children. It may not be a popular brand of topic but women can be the bullies and tyrants within a home. Not only abusing the children but their husbands, mates and partners.

Verbal abuse from a mother is violence, an assault a raping of one's soul. I'm speaking true verbal abuse the kind that is meant to break your spirit, totally destroy who you are. Also, women and mothers will beat their children just like a father or man can do.

I remember as a Mental Health Peer Counselor working on a crisis line. The women that were lesbians and how they telephoned in about the abuse of their partners. "She beats me but I love her." "She promises that she'll never do it again." "She can't help it she grew up having a hard life."

Many felt trapped due to children and some lacked knowledge support or their spirits had just been broken down. They lived in fear. Often after a brutal attack they were raped. See there is no difference than if they were with an abusive man.

Society will place fault with women that are beat by their men and society will issue a stiffer penalty when a female is abused by her lesbian lover. No matter who you are abused by it's you that must make the change.

For more information on domestic violence and Woman to Woman Rape and Sexual Assault go here The National Domestic Violence Hotline, Rape Crisis Information Pathfinder and Lesbian Sexual Assault and Rape.

Today is The Day - Take Back Your Power and Control!

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